BRIATAIN'S "MINI-BEYONCE" BULLIED FOR HER SINGING TALENT

That's according to The Daily Mail.Word of encouragement for the little angel is,however,what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

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JAJI UFARANSA ARUHUSU UCHUNGUZI WA FEDHA ZA MARAIS WA AFRIKA

KATIKA KUZURURA KWANGU MTANDAONI NIMEKUTANA NA HABARI IFUATAYO,AMBAYO KAMA ITAKWENDA SAWA BASI INAWEZA KUFUNGUA FURSA KUBWA YA KUWAADABISHA MAFISADI.HEBU ISOME KWANZA,KISHA TUJIULIZE

A senior judge in Paris is about to cause the French government serious embarrassment with an investigation into the allegedly stolen wealth of three African presidents who are closely allied to France.

Two previous complaints by an anti-corruption group have been buried under pressure by the French authorities. But the most senior investigating magistrate in Paris, Françoise Desset, has now agreed to investigate the portfolios – from chateâux to Ferraris to multiple bank accounts – owned by the ruling families of Gabon, Equatorial Guinea and Congo-Brazzaville.

President Nicolas Sarkozy, who is close to one of the three accused African leaders, Omar Bongo of Gabon, must decide in the next few days whether to order an appeal against the decision.

The investigation, which could last for many months, follows a formal complaint by a French open government pressure group, Transparence International. Daniel Lèbegue, the organisation's president, said the ruling

by Judge Desset was a "historic decision, which could mean the end of the impunity for corrupt leaders around the globe".

"This is the first time, anywhere in the world, that a judge has recognised the right of a non-governmental organisation to bring a law suit in the names of victims of corruption," he said.

The NGO's legal complaint claims that the three families' wealth "could only have been assembled through the embezzlement of public money". The organisation's lawyer, William Bourdon, said: "Each luxury apartment bought by President Bongo's clan is a public hospital less in Libreville."

Two previous law suits brought by Transparence International were blocked after pressure by the French public prosecutor's office,which is under government control. Judge Desset decided this week that there was a possible case.

According to information leaked to the French newspaper Libération, President Bongo – the longest serving leader in sub-Saharan Africa – has property in France worth tens of millions of euros. He and his family are thought to have 70 different bank accounts, several chateaux and 11 houses and apartments in and around Paris.

They also have a family compound in Nice, extending to three houses, two apartments and a swimming pool. The Bongo family car fleet is said to include two Ferraris and five Mercedes.

The family of President Sassou-Nguesso of Congo-Brazzaville – one of the poorest countries in the world – is estimated by French police to have 11 bank accounts, 13 luxury cars and nine properties in the Paris area. President Obiang of Equatorial Guinea is reported to have a more modest portfolio of a private jet, two luxury cars and a $35m villa in Malibu, California.

M. Bourdon predicted that the state prosecution service would appeal against the judge's decision. "I fear that it will become obvious that the prosecution service is the tool of raison d'etat in France," he said.

If the investigation does go ahead, it could lead to a prosecution of the African leaders but this would be unlikely to succeed without state backing. Transparence International's main objective seems to be to embarrass the three presidents – something that it has already achieved.

President Sassou-Nguesso has dismissed the legal moves against him as an "echo of neocolonialism". In 2007, he said: "Every leader in the world has chateaux and palaces in France, whether they are from the Gulf, from Europe or from Africa."

SOURCE: The Independent

SIE TUNANGOJA NINI?

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ONLY IN TANZANIA.....

How a deported `EPA mogul` enjoys Dar`s life

His dodgy deals cost the government $100million in 1994, but he is today walking and living freely in Dar es Salaam despite the Parliamentary recommendations that he should be arrested and prosecuted immediately.

The man who in 1994 set up and then stole from the debt buy-back programme that is now known as the External Payment Arrears (EPA) account has been living in the country for the last five years despite being declared a prohibited immigrant.

Vidyadhar G. Chavda, an Indian citizen, first came to Tanzania in 1978 without a penny to his name, according to his own words quoted in a 1994 parliamentary report, but after years of working here as an architect he moved into the finance services industry and orchestrated a number of very lucrative, very shoddy deals.

Chavda approached the government with his idea for the creation of the Debt Conversion Programme (DCP) - which sought to reduce the country’s outstanding debts by selling them off to third parties at discounted prices - the deal that cost the country Sh50bn/- ($100m at that time prevailing exchange rate) in taxpayer money from the programme.

“I came to this country without a single penny, a beggar…but I came with a brain worth millions of dollars supported by education and exposure,” Chavda said after the news of his multibillion-shilling scandal broke in 1994.

“The DCP funds were brought totally by my idea and efforts,” he said at the time. “What I have done is beyond the sphere of understanding Parliament…it is a purely financial issue which nobody is capable of grasping.”

To repair the economic damage caused by his sleazy deals, the Central Bank of Tanzania (BoT) was forced to print billions of shillings in 1994.

After his scandal was thoroughly investigated by the Parliamentary Committee chaired by Edward Oyombe Ayila, Chavda was finally deported in 1996, though he was not charged with any wrongdoing.

Despite being deported, Chavda had already caused a strong political rift within the ruling party, and then-minister for home affairs Augustine Mrema resigned because he disagreed with the way the scandal was handled.

In its recommendations, the Parliamentary Committee advised Chavda’s immediate arrest and prosecution for fraud, violation of the Foreign Exchange Act of 1992 and giving false statements contrary to section 122, 309 and 346 of the country’s penal code.

The Committee further recommended that legal action be taken against all traders and lawyers who conspired with Chavda for economic sabotage, and it urged the concerned authorities to cancel the business licenses for those who collaborated with him, including Subhash Patel.

Surprisingly only one recommendation was implemented - to revoke Chavda’s residence permit and deport him - essentially letting him and his partner off the hook.

He is now back in Tanzania where he has been living in the Masaki suburb of Dar es Salaam for the last five years, according to reliable details obtained by The Guardian on Sunday this week.

How he played the game
Having managed to shake the Parliamentary Committee that was formed to investigate him, Chavda carefully planned his comeback in 1997 just three years after he was deported.

On March 18, 1997, Chavda, acting through his lawyers Mkono & Company, asked the High Court of Tanzania to issue a Witness Summons to allow him to testify on August 5 of that year in a pending civil case brought by his wife against him, Civil Case No 130 of 1993.

His wife, an Indian citizen who had continued living in Tanzania legally after Chavda was deported, was suing him over a family financial dispute.

On April 1, 1997, the High Court wrote to the Director of Immigration seeking clarification on the legal position of Chavda’s status once he arrived in the country to testify.

As such, the Director of Immigration informed Mkono & Company on September 25, 1997, that Chavda had been given a visa for 30 days to allow him to enter the country only to testify in court.

Later findings from the court show, however, that during that 30-day period, the civil case was not scheduled for a hearing and Chavda’s claims that he needed to appear in court lacked grounds. His visa expired and he left the country, but with the intention to come back yet again.

Having identified a loophole in the system that could be exploited, Chavda planned a comeback in January 2002 centred on another ‘necessary’ appearance in court.

Chavda again had his lawyers - this time from the firm Gomba & Tadayo - write to the High Court requesting a Witness Summons to testify in Civil Case No 74 of 1996, a separate civil case filed by the National Bank of Commerce against him for an alleged 800m/- in outstanding loan repayments.

He was again allowed to enter the country after being given Entry Visa No 0000695 dated March 4, 2002. Chavda should have left within 28 days of the visa’s issuance, but he had stayed almost a year until the Director of Immigration caught on and ordered him to leave the country immediately.

According to details in our possession, Chavda then filed Miscellaneous Civil Case No 60 of 2003 asking the court to force the immigration department to grant him a visa so that he could testify in the two civil cases facing him.

On March 11, 2004, the High Court issued its ruling in Chavda’s favour, ordering the Director of Immigration to issue a two-year visa to the deportee.

One senior immigration official in Dar es Salaam told The Guardian on Sunday this week that the decision to grant Chavda the visa was both illogical and indefensible.

“The law is very clear; he should be outside the country and is only allowed to come once needed or summoned by the court,” said the official, who asked for anonymity on the grounds that he is not the department’s official spokesperson.

“A hearing can’t take two years, it is just one or a few weeks as long as the pending cases are civil cases.”

Chavda’s two-year visa expired in April 2006, but again neither of the two cases had been heard, and not even preliminary hearings had been held for either of them.

Following of the expiry of his visa, the office of the Attorney General wrote a letter on May 6, 2006, directing the Director of Immigration to act accordingly.

“Since the ruling date was March 11, 2004 then the time for stay in Tanzania has elapsed, and given the fact that Chavda didn’t appeal against the decision, now act according to the law on this issue,” reads part of the letter signed by D.L Chidowu on behalf of the AG.

Despite the AG’s letter, the immigration department has still not taken any action against Chavda.

In a May 25, 2007, letter to Professor Abdullah Safari of Safari Law Chambers - Chavda’s newest lawyer - the AG’s office wrote that it seemed the ministry of home affairs had flipped its position on the matter and was complicit in allowing Chavda to remain in the country.

“The issue of Chavda has taxed much this office. We as advocates of the government and chief legal advisers did our best to defend the position of the government in court to declare Chavda a prohibited immigrant…however it is now clear that the parent ministry [home affairs] has changed its previous position,” reads part of the letter signed by P. J Ngwembe on behalf of the AG.

When asked on Friday why Chavda was still being allowed to remain in Tanzania, Minister for Home Affairs Lawrence Masha was deliberately vague.

“It’s the government that has decided that he should stay in the country because he is still needed,” Masha told The Guardian on Sunday.

The minister would not elaborate on why Chavda was ‘needed’ in the country when he was no longer involved in any currently pending civil cases.

The minister’s response is a curious departure from what his boss, Prime Minister Mizengo Pinda, told Parliament on April 30 this year, in response to a question asked by Kigoma North MP Zitto Kabwe.

The Prime Minister said he wasn’t aware whether Chavda was still in the country, but he promised to thoroughly investigate on which grounds the Asian tycoon was allowed to stay in Tanzania if he were.

The senior immigration official said this ‘confusion’ among top-ranking government officials speaks to the deliberate obfuscation and questionable protection surrounding Chavda and his status in the country.

“This is a man who was supposed to be arrested and charged with criminal offences but surprisingly he is today a free man enjoying the protection of some government officials and a group of Asian traders,” the senior immigration official said.

SOURCE: Guardian on Sunday

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MEET 10-YR-OLD NATALIE, BRITAIN'S ANSWER TO BEYONCE

CLICK HERE to read more about this little princes.

But,hers wasn't the only act last night to wow the judges and viewers of Britain's Got Talent.Watch this teen-version of Usher,Ne-Yo,You-Name-It...it's Aidan Davis ,an 11-year-old kid from Birmingham,who not only knows how to dance but also holds a Black Belt in karate!

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KAMA HII NI KWELI BASI CCM KWISHNE!

NIMEKUTANA NA HABARI ILIYONISHTUA KIDOGO,KWAMBA MMOJA WA WANA-CCM WALIOOMBA KUGOMBEA KITI CHA UBUNGE KATIKA UCHAGUZI MDOGO WA JIMBO LA BUSANDA,DONALD MAX, AMEREJESHEWA GHARAMA ALIZOTUMIA WAKATI WA KUJIPIGIA DEBE.INADAIWA HILO LIMEFANYIKA ILI AWEZE KUSHIRIKI KWENYE KAMPENI ZA MGOMBEA ALIYEPITISHWA NA CCM,LORENCIA BUKWIMBA.

KWA MUJIBU WA GAZETI LA Mwananchi:

Taarifa...za ndani zilisema kukubali kwa Max kupanda jukwaani, kunatokana na makubaliano ya faragha baina yake na Malecela kwa niaba ya Kikwete ambaye aliagiza arejeshewe gharama zake za kampeni katika mchakato wa kura za maoni...Kutokana na makubaliano hayo CCM kiliagizwa kusaka fedha za kumrudishia Max ambazo zililetwa na mbunge mmoja wa Kanda ya Magharibi, ambaye pia ni Mjumbe wa Kamati Kuu na Halmashauri Kuu, ambaye imeelezwa aliingia Geita kimya kimya na kufanya mazungumzo naye.

NASEMA HABARI HIYO IMENISHTUA "KIDOGO" KWA VILE CCM SI NGENI KATIKA ULIMWENGU WA MAIGIZO YA KISIASA.KWA MFANO,TUME YA MAADILI YA CHAMA HICHO BADO IKO CHINI YA UONGOZI WA MZEE WA VIJISENTI,MWANASIASA AMBAYE MAADILI YAKE YA UONGOZI NI QUESTIONABLE KUTOKANA NA TUHUMA ZA KUJILIMBIZIA VIJISENTI HAPO JERSEY.

LAKINI INAPOFIKIA HATUA YA CHAMA HICHO KUREJESHA GHARAMA ZA MGOMBEA ALIYESHINDWA KWENYE NOMINATION PROCESS INAMWAGA ZEGE ZAIDI KWENYE UKWELI KWAMBA CHAMA HICHO TAWALA KINA UHABA MKUBWA ZA BUSARA ZA UONGOZI.HIVI KUREJESHA GHARAMA HIZO KUNA TOFAUTI GANI NA KUMHONGA MWANASIASA HUYO ILI APANDE JUKWAANI?HIVI,TUKIAMINI KUWA HABARI HIZO NI ZA KWELI,CCM ITOE FEDHA HIZO KISHA MAX APANDE JUKWAANI KUMNADI MGOMBEA BUKWIMBA,KISHA CHAMA HICHO KISHINDWE KWENYE UCHAGUZI (WHICH IS POSSIBLE KAMA KUTAKUWA NA UCHAGUZI HURU NA HAKI)........FILL IN THE BLANKS,MZALENDO MWENZANGU.

KAMA LEO CCM INADIRIKI KUTOA FEDHA KUMSHAWISHI MAX APANDE JUKWAANI,ITASHINDWAJE KUWAPA FADHILA MAFISADI KATIKA UCHAGUZI WA MWAKANI IWAPO CHAMA HICHO KITAELEKEA KUSHINDWA?HAYA YALITOKEA 2005,NA NDIO VYANZO VYA SKANDALI ZA EPA NA NYINGINEZO.SIJUI INGEKUWAJE LAITI MAREHEMU BABA WA TAIFA ANGERUDI DUNIANI NA KUKUTA CHAMA ALICHOKIASISI KINAFANYA UTUMBO KAMA HUU!

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VC WA KENYA AKIRI WANANUFAIKA NA MT KILIMANJARO

Na Leon Bahati

MAKAMU wa Rais wa Kenya, Kalonzo Musyoka amekiri kuwa mlima Kilimanjaro umekuwa ukiisaidia nchi yake kukuza sekta ya utalii kutokana na Wakenya wengi kuutumia katika kujitangaza hasa wawapo kwenye nchi za ulaya.

Pamoja na kufaidika huko, alisema kuwa hiyo haifuti ukweli kwamba mlima huo mrefu kuliko yote Afrika, upo Tanzania, ingawa pia huweza kuonekana kutokea Kenya.

Musyoka alisema hayo kwenye hafla fupi ya chakula cha mchana alichoandaliwa na mwenyeji wake, Makamu wa Rais wa Tanzania, Dk Ali Mohamed Shein.

“Wakenya wanapoenda Ulaya wanawaambia wazungu: Njooni Kenya ili muone mlima Kilimanjaro,” alisema Musyoka katika ziara hiyo ya kiserikali kwa mwaliko wa Tanzania...endelea

CHANZO: Mwananchi

WELL,HUWEZI KUWALAUMU IWAPO SIE "WENYE MLIMA HUO" TUNAENDEKEZA ZAIDI POLITIKI KULIKO KUTANGAZA VIVUTIO VYETU.WANAOPEWA DHAMANA YA KUTANGAZA RASLIMALI ZETU WAKO BIZE ZAIDI NA "TENI PASENTI" YA MIKATABA YA MATANGAZO KULIKO UFANISI WA MATANGAZO HAYO.

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UKURUGENZI WA TAASISI ZA UMMA UNAPOFANYWA KISHKAJI...

MSIKIE MATTAKA ANAVYOONGEA KWA KUJIAMINI KANA KWAMBA ALIJITEUA MWENYEWE KUWA MKURUGENZI WA ATCL NA KUJIPA UJUMBE WA NIC.

Mattaka ajiweka kando ATCL
Imeandikwa na Mwandishi Wetu; Tarehe: 16th May 2009

Mkurugenzi Mtendaji na Ofisa Mtendaji Mkuu wa Kampuni ya Ndege Tanzania (ATCL), David Mattaka ametangaza kutoiongoza kampuni hiyo kwa miezi sita kutokana na kuteuliwa kuwamiongoni mwa wajumbe wa Bodi ya Wakurugenzi ya Shirika la Bima la Taifa (NIC).

Katika taarifa ya barua hiyo iliyotolewa na ofisi yake kwa wafanyakazi Mei 11, mwaka huu, inaonyesha kuwa Mattaka amelazimikakutofanya kazi ATCL kwa kipindi hicho kutokana na nafasi yake hiyo aliyoteuliwa naWaziri wa Fedha na Uchumi, Aprili 23, mwaka huu kuwamo katika Bodi ya Wakurugenzi ya NIC kazi ambayo zinamtaka awapo wakati wote kazini.

Uteuzi huo sambamba na wa Rais Jakaya Kikwete wa Februari 23, mwaka huu wa kuwamo katika kikosikazi cha kulifufua shirika hilo, Mattaka alisema “Katika nafasi zote nilizoteuliwa zinanitaka nifanye kazi muda wote kuanzia Mei mosi.” Kutokana na nafasi hizo mpya, kwa kipindi cha miezi sita ambayo hatakuwao ATCL, Bodi ya Wakurugenzi imemteua William Haji kukaimu nafasi yake.

“Bodi ya Wakurugenzi imemteua William Haji kukaimu nafasi ya Mkurugenzi Mkuu na CEO kuanzia Mei 8 na wakati huohuo kuendelea na nafasi yake ya Mkurugenzi wa Fedha,” alisema Mattaka. Bodi ya Wakurugenzi ya NIC iliyoanza kazi Mei mosi, inaongozwa na Mwenyekiti Balozi Charles Mutalemwa na wajumbe ni Michael Mhando kutoka Bima ya Afya, Msajili wa Hazina Agnes Bukuku, Naibu Mkurugenzi Mkuu wa Shirika la Taifa la Hifadhi ya Jamii (NSSF) Kate Bandawe na Charles Kilasile.

CHANZO: Habari Leo

KWA UPANDE FLANI,HATUWEZI KUMLAUMU KWANI KWA HAKIKA ALIYEMTEUA AMEONEKANA KURIDHISHWA NA UTENDAJI WAKE.USHKAJI KATIKA TEUZI NI MIONGONI MWA VYANZO VIKUU VYA KUSUASUA NA HATIMAYE VIFO VYA TAASISI MBALIMBALI ZA UAMMA,BILA KUSAHAU KUSHAMIRI KWA UFISADI.KWANI HAKUNA WATU WENYE UWEZO ZAIDI YA MATTAKA?KAMA AMECHEMSHA ATCL,ATALETA MIUJIZA GANI HUKO BIMA?

YANI TUNAVYOENDESHA MAMBO KIHOLELA UTADHANI TUSHAPIGA HATUA KUJIKWAMUA KIUCHUMI KUMBE WAPI.VICHWA VILIVYOISHIWA MAWAZO NA MBINU ZA KUNUSURU TAASISI ZA UMMA HAVIWEZI KULETA MAPYA YOYOTE VINAVYOZUNGUSHWA KIUSHKAJI KUTOKA TAASIS MOJA KWENDA NYINGINE KANA KWAMBA NI ZA KIFAMILIA.

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BALOZI WA SAUZI ASHANGAA TANZANIA KUOMBA MISAADA

UMASIKINI WA WATANZANIA (KAMA UNAVYOONYESHWA KATIKA PICHA YA JUU kwa hisani ya Dr Faustine) UNACHANGIWA ZAIDI NA MAFISADI WACHACHE WASIONYIMWA USINGIZI NA MISHANGAO KAMA HIYO YA BALOZI WA SAUZI.HAWANA MUDA WA KUJALI NANI ANASEMA NINI,ALIMRADI VOGUE ZAO (kama katika picha ya mfano hapo chini) ZINAENDELEA KUWAPA UJIKO MTAANI!YALEYALE YA MTU ANAKUPORA MKEO KISHA ANAMPTISHA MBELE YAKO MAKUSUDI KUKURUSHA ROHO!
Na Claud Mshana

BALOZI wa Afrika Kusini nchini amesema anashangazwa kuona nchi iliyojaliwa rasilimali nyingi kama Tanzania kujiendesha kwa kutegemea misaada kutoka nchi wahisani na marafiki.

Balozi huyo, Sindiso Mfenyana alisema rasilimali zilizo nchini zinaweza kugeuzwa na kuwa tegemeo la misaada kwa nchi nyingine.

Mfenyana alisema hayo wakati akizungumza na wahariri mbalimbali wa vyombo vya habari jijini Dar es salaam. Mfenyana alisema inashangaza kuona Tanzania ambayo imebarikiwa kuwa na rasilimali za kila aina ikiendelea kutegemea misaada katika uchumi wake.

"Kama rasilimali zilizopo zitatumiwa vizuri kwa maendeleo ya nchi hii na pia kukawa na usawa katika matumizi ya rasilimali hizo, nchi hii ingekimbiliwa na watu wengine kwa misaada," alisema balozi huyo.

Mfenyana alisisitiza kuwa Tanzania haina haja kuhofia wawekezaji kutoka Afrika Kusini, hasa wazungu kwa sababu zama za ubaguzi wa rangi zimeshapita na kwamba kilichopo sasa ni kuona nchi inakuwa na ushirikiano wenye manufaa bila kujali rangi wala historia baina ya nchi za Afrika.

"Ni ajabu kuona mtu anakuwa na wasiwasi kuingia ubia wa kiuchumi na 'Mzungu', pengine ni kutokana na historia iliyokuwepo kabla… inawezekana kuwa vyombo vya habari havikutangaza vya kutosha kuwa vita vya ubaguzi wa rangi vimekwisha," alisema.

"Leo hii mtu mweusi wa Afrika Kusini anakuwa na chuki na mtu mweusi mwenzake kuliko hata Mzungu, jambo hili linaonyesha kuwa enzi za kuchukiana kwa misingi ya rangi imeshapita.

Ni lazima tuendeleze uhusiano wetu kwa manufaa ya nchi zetu." Kwa upande wake, Meneja wa Jukwaa la Wafanyabishara wa Tanzania na Afrika Kusini, ambaye pia ni meneja wa hoteli ya Southern Sun, Adam Fuller alisema kumekuwa na maendeleo chanya ya ushirikiano wa kibiashara kwa nchi hizi mbili.

Alifafanua kuwa tofauti na zamani, Tanzania ilikuwa ikijitenga kiushirikiano na nchi nyingine labda kwa kuhofia ushindani, hivi sasa kuna tofauti kubwa na kuongeza kuwa wataendelea kushirikiana zaidi kwa kutumia fursa zilizopo kibiashara.

Kuhusu tatizo la umasikini nchini humo ambalo linachangia kwa kiasi kikubwa kuwepo na wimbi la uhalifu, Mfenyana alisema serikali ya nchi yake imejipanga kukabiliana na hali hiyo na tayari hatua madhubuti zimeshachukuliwa kukabiliana na tatizo hilo.

CHANZO: Mwananchi

INA MAANA BALOZI HUYU HAJUI KUWA RASILIMALI ZETU TAYARI NI MSAADA KWA MAFISADI?NCHI YETU IMEGEUZWA SHAMBA LISILO NA MWENYEWE,WATU WANAJICHUMIA WEE MPAKA WANAKINAI NA KULETA NYODO!INATIA UCHUNGU LAKINI NDIO HIVYO TENA.

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"STAREHE" ZA WAINGEREZA USIKU

Pombe bwana!Huyu si "shoga",ni mwanaume ila tu kinywaji kimemkolea kaamua atinge gauni.Na sijui hiyo pozi kajifunzia wapi!

Huyu "Beyonce Mweupe" anaonyesha ufundi wa kunengua.

Hao si watoto wa shule,na huo "upole" ni sehemu ya kinywaji pia!

"Kwanini Mungu aliwapendelea ng'ombe kuwa na miguu minne na sie wanadamu miguu miwili?"Yaelekea ndio "malalamiko ya muungwana huyo anayetambaa.Au anakumbukia alivyokuwa akitambaa wakati wa utoto?Katika pombe,lolote linawezekana!

Kilio tena!?

Pombe huwafanya wanyonge wajione majabali,only kinywaji kinapoyeyuka kichwani hujikuta wakiwa wanyonge vilevile PLUS majeraha.

"Yes!Nimeweza.Si mlisema siwezi kulibalansi hilo boksi la take-away eti nimelewa?Mbona nimeweza.Watu tumeanza pombe zamani,in fact kabla ya kunyonya maziwa ya mama...teh teh teh"

"Basi nikwambie shoga,mwaka 1978 nili....halafu kabla ya hapo mwaka 1749 nilikuwa....na mwaka huu 2004 nita....".Stori za kilevi hazihitaji kuwa makini na tarehe au muda.Na zinaweza kuendelea milele.Kimsingi huwa haziishi,na mada hubadilika kama bendera na upepo.

" Nahisi kama niko 'leba' mtoto najifungua.Hee nimezaa mtoto wa kiume".Si ajabu huyu akiamka asubuhi anamaizi kuwa kweli "alizaa" lakini mtoto ni "pooh" (ile kitu inayotupeleka msalani).

Duh.Hapa ni ujenzi wa mahekalu hewani

Huyu ashukuru ufanisi wa polisi wa doria wanaosaidiwa na CCTV.Ukaaji huo mitaa ya uswahilini ingeweza kumfanya huyo jamaa kwa siku kadhaa asitoke nyumbani kutokana na aibu.Ni mkao hatari sana!

Hoi!

Ah,nani kasema kitanda lazima kiwe chumbani.Hapa napata 'nepu' ya bure buleshi.

" Hee hawa vipi tena?",dada wa kushoto haamini anachokiona."Ahaaa,ndio mana wanaume wa kiskotishi wanapenda hizo kilt zao wanapokwenda out..." Anazidi kutafakari mdada wa watu.

"Kuanzia leo mto wangu utakuwa tairi..."Chapombe afanya uvumbuzi usiku wa manane.

Huy kibonge sijui anatoa nasaha gani kwa wenzake.Pombe huleta "busara" za ajabu kabisa.

Oh dear dear....

Picha hizi zimepigwa na mwanafunzi wa KiPolish jijini Cardiff,Wales.Habari zaidi kuhusu picha hizo na utamaduni wa chapombe (binge culture) BONYEZA HAPA.

CHANZO: The Daily Mail

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WENGER: ADEBAYOR RUKSA KWENDA CHELSEA

Hiyo ni kwa mujibu wa The Guardian

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